


Accept Me

by orphan_account



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: A lot of kissing, Arguing, Light Angst, M/M, Make up sex, Romance, a lot of mentions of krisyeol, almost a break up, layhun being confused babies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-07-19 05:49:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7347655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was hard to make Sehun believe that he was truely loved and accepted, but it was harder for Yixing to be able to accept the fact that he was trying to give his heart to a man he barely knew.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> short chaptered fic, sequel to [this oneshot](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6883051), be prepared for typos and grammar mistakes, also i hope you'll enjoy it!

"Why every time we meet, it has to be in China and in your flat?" Sehun asked while he was casually putting back his boxers, his back was shining from sweat, his hair was messy and Yixing could feel the come falling down his thighs when he stood up too. Surprisingly he didn't mind it at all.

"Because it's more convenient for both of us?" Yixing replied slightly confused in the way Sehun turned back to look at him. "What is it?"

"Nothing, I just...nothing." Sehun sighed and groaned when he noticed how the shirt felt too tight now when his body was sweaty. But it was his fault that he couldn't take shower, while he was busy fucking Yixing against the table, he forgot that he had small interview for the magazine he had photo shoot in couple of hours. 

"We're going to have dinner tonight, right?" Yixing felt how his voice grew smaller and how he wanted to ask something else, but he was worried to do so.

"Don't wait for me, if you're hungry eat, I'll call you when I'm done, okay?" Sehun leaned down to kiss Yixing before he sniffed and groaned. "I hope I don't smell too much of sex. Anyways, I'm leaving, so I'm keeping the spare key for now. Bye bye."

Before Yixing could say anything, Sehun was already out. Yixing groaned when he realized that he had missed the chance to speak with Sehun and maybe understand the position he had in Sehun's life and maybe how they would go on from now on. But Sehun was away to do some work on his own, while Yixing was too tired to even make himself a dinner. He wished to have dinner with Sehun though. In fact he was excited for it.

Sighing, Yixing ruffled his hair, making it messier than it already was, while walking towards the bathroom. He had so many questions he wished to ask but what he didn't know was how Sehun was feeling. The model was coming every time Yixing asked him to come, but not even once he came on his own. They had fun together, almost as actual couple, but both of them couldn't deny that in fact they acted too forced for them to be an actual couple.

Maybe it was how their relationship started as an one nightstand or how Sehun couldn't fully trust Yixing, even when months passed and Sehun's Mandarin improved so much that he was speaking almost as fluently as Yixing and in fact he could communicate much easier now. However, Sehun felt too tense around Yixing. Maybe it was the way Yixing was guarding himself too around Sehun when things became too personal and Sehun asked something about Yixing's past relationships.

"Who's Lu Han? You moaned his name..." Was one of the fails Yixing would never forget or forgive himself. He was so into the thoughts of how to please Sehun, when the younger finally let Yixing to dominate him in all meanings of the word and Yixing moaned another man's name. Sehun, of course, didn't say anything while they were doing it, however he didn't stop his curiosity and displease once Yixing was contently panting next to him. 

Maybe this was bothering both of them and Yixing couldn't deny that he was still feeling affections towards his ex, Lu Han, even when they were long broken up and none of them tried to approach the other in case they were in the same place because of their work. However Yixing started to wonder if Sehun had met the said ex lover and had they spoken? Yixing groaned he was being ridiculous. Instead of moving towards the kitchen, Yixing took his phone and called the only person he could trust.

"I'm sure Sehun should be fucking you, why are you calling me?" Yifan greeted Yixing sleepily.

"Is that how you greet your best friend?" Yixing chuckled when Yifan groaned and cursed him before asking what's happening. "I think I mess up something with Sehun."

"You're always messing something with someone except me. So be more specific." Yifan yawned and Yixing could hear another deep voice from behind, mumbling something before Yifan apologized and there was a click coming from closing a door. Yixing felt slightly bad for the fact that maybe Chanyeol was hoping to spend more time with Yifan, yet Yixing was in the way.

"Look, we can speak another time, I didn't think that..." Yixing tried to stop this conversation before it started and grew to be hours long, but Yifan was fast enough to react and hiss through the phone.

"Listen, I know you since I remember, Chanyeol could suck his sleepy dick all night long even without me, but I don't like how you sound like now and I don't want another Lu Han case to happen because you literally became a slut, with less fucked up experience, but still, Yixing, speak." with the way Yifan spoke or more like ordered Yixing, the latter could only take a deep breath and close his eyes, before bracing himself for the the small confession which was going to follow.

"I called Sehun Lu Han while I was doing him." Yixing spoke and almost chocked on his words. "Since then the things went downhill for us, I don't even know how to make it up when I don't even know what is expected from me."

"Did he ask about it?" Yifan asked calmly but Yixing knew that his friend was disappointed in him simply from the tone he used in the situation as this one.

"Yes, he did." Yixing replied with small voice and worried expression grew on his face when Yifan stayed quiet.

"What did you reply to him then?" he asked a moment later, he probably knew the answer but still wished to make sure of it before concluded what his advice was going to be.

"I said Lu Han is my ex. I told him I loved Lu Han a lot and I was too heartbroken after him." Yixing stopped for a moment, waiting for Yifan to keep speaking but they knew each other long enough to know what the other wanted to ask or know. "However, I didn't tell Sehun how I felt towards him."

"I hope you know this is a mistake you've done and it might cost you Sehun's trust towards you." Yifan spoke gently but he was ready to cut through Yixing pathetic attempts to try to prove him wrong if he had to.

"I know, but how can I change what had happened?" Yixing asked desperately, he had an idea what Yifan was going to say but this didn't change the fact that he was alone right now and still feeling uneasy with the way Sehun acted around him, one thing was for sure, Yixing didn't want to feel as if he was Sehun's fuck buddy only, but in the same time he didn't want to lose a part of himself with Sehun.

"Be honest with him and actually tell him that you like him too much, but currently you don't love him enough...or wait do you love him?" Yifan was shocked that this kind of thought passed through his mind, but he couldn't deny that the way Yixing acted with Sehun was close to the way he was with Lu Han, in love and happy, but of course it was different too.

"I believe that I do love him." Yixing replied with small voice and he wanted to groan. "I don't want to love him."

"It's not your choice, I can ask Chanyeol where Sehun is exactly and maybe you can go pick him up and bring him out for a dinner, speak things through and try to be happy with him as you have never been with anyone. Chanyeol says Sehun's a keeper, he would never let you go once he knows you mean everything you say and feel towards him.

"I hope you're not wrong. Can you text me the address later? I might need to look for it. And thank you." Yifan chuckled before ending the call and couple of minutes later Yixing received the address and he sighed with relief. He had to be confident from now on.

But thinking of doing something and actually starting to do it were different things and as much as Yixing was excited about his possible make up experience with Sehun, he was equally worried that maybe things would change for worse and that was not what Yixing wished to happen.

He was nervous a lot more nervous than the first time when he walked towards Sehun and asked him to be his one nightstand. 

Once he was done staring the address Yifan sent him, Yixing walked back to his bathroom. He wanted to be clean and good looking when he was going to meet Sehun, especially now if he planned to show how serious he was with the younger man. So he cleaned himself, dried his hair later and made sure he had a presentable hairstyle.

He thought that he spent over an hour looking at his clothes before he decided on simple white shirt and black pants. He almost kick himself at the thought that he could just grab something random and drive away, but he felt an obligation to look good for Sehun. A thought he never thought of having with anyone before Sehun.

However he made a mistake, although Yixing believed he didn't need to call Sehun and ask him about how long he'll have work and when he was done, apparently he had to. Once he arrived at the building where Sehun had his photo shoot for the magazine, Yixing walked casually inside and greeted the people who knew him. 

He felt comfortable because he knew the photographer and was close to him enough to play along when he wanted to visit someone he was close with or interested in someone. What he didn't expect to see was the casual way Sehun was speaking with Lu Han with whom apparently he had to work today.

"Oh, Yixing what a surprise to see you here!" The photographer, a middle aged very fashionable man, walked towards him and gave him a tight hug, Yixing felt the need to return it. "I must request you soon! I've missed our long conversations about the business and its bad sides."

"You can call me all the time, gege and I wouldn't say no to you." Yixing smiled at the man and winked at him too. 

"Come, make me a company while I make these pretty boys look prettier." The man laughed at his own joke and Yixing followed a second later. 

Yixing walked after the man, his eyes didn't miss the way Lu Han frowned at the comments and Sehun rolled his eyes but his attention was on Yixing. If Yixing knew this was going to happen, he wouldn't have listened to Yifan about this advice. He wouldn't have bothered to leave or to even think of visiting Sehun at work. He didn't even know if he could normally greet Sehun, now that Lu Han was there, Lu Han who was staring at Yixing just as he did while they were going out. Yixing hoped that Sehun thought this Lu Han next to him was another Lu Han and not the one Yixing's moan belonged to.

"I'm sure you have no problems with either of them." Yixing commented once he sat on the chair in front of the computer where some of the photos were taken and possibly approved.

"They are lovely to work with, what makes me uneasy is the fact that Sehun seems that he is holding back, as if he tries not to put shadow on Lu Han, which is surprising having in mind how easy for Lu Han is to shine and overpower his partners." Yixing couldn't agree more about the last part, but indeed he had seen the photos and he knew that Sehun was holding back, more like he didn't take the job seriously than going easy on Lu Han.

"Maybe it's the mood?" Yixing tried to guess while his eyes were slowly dancing over every detail on the photos in front of him. He was indeed right, Sehun didn't try to show his potential. Yixing couldn't deny that the beautiful and strong vibe Sehun had, with the clothes he was wearing now, black leather jacket and light blue jeans with light grey shirt, would make a perfect combination with the bright clothes Lu Han had. Lu Han was the gentle but beautiful type, Sehun could go for the bad boy image without problem either, yet now, all Yixing could see is Lu Han showing his all, while Sehun was almost hiding under his shadow as a small child.

"I thought so too, having in mind how Sehun prefers to do his job perfectly, however, since he walked into the studio and met Lu Han something happened and it seems as if Sehun's thoughts run for something else, not his job." The photographer sighed. "I don't blame him, he had been flying back and forth the last couple of months, it must be tiring." Yixing didn't know this, but stayed quiet. "I know how hard working he is, but if he wants to be noticed, once in his life he should over power Lu Han and show what a model he is." Yixing couldn't agree more.

"I see. Can I speak with him for a while? That is one of the reasons I came to visit you actually." Yixing smiled cheerfully and stood up to call Sehun into the changing rooms. The photographer sighed with relief when he told everyone that they're having a small break now.

Yixing didn't miss the confused look Sehun gave him before walking after him towards the room and he didn't miss the way Lu Han looked so confused from the fact that he was not called too. Yixing's heart felt tighter but not enough to change his choices. For once, he felt confident in his choice and he wished to help Sehun as much as he could.

Once inside, Yixing made sure he had locked the door before he walked after Sehun, who was making himself comfortable in one of the chairs. Yixing didn't know what to make from the worried expression Sehun had or how uneasy and sorry he looked. Slowly he walked closer to the younger but before he could say his own thoughts, Sehun was faster, with tongue sharp as knife and eyes ready to give up everything.

"He's beautiful, he's nice, I'm sure he's better in bed than me too. He's personality is the type no one can move away, I'm surprised you broke up. He speaks so fondly of you too." 

Yixing felt as if someone threw boiling water towards him. He couldn't reply anything to this, Sehun had put the pieces together, it wasn't surprising, having in mind how fast Sehun had been reacting to anything, Sehun was smart, one of the reasons why Yixing wasn't sure how to approach him. What if Sehun could read something in between his words, something which Yixing was missing to catch but unconsciously knowing and hurt Sehun.

"I'm sorry." Yixing replied and looked down towards his shoes. He didn't know why he couldn't say anything else.

"Why did you two break up?" Sehun asked then, his voice was too casual for the topic he was having right now.

"I was too serious into our relationship. I believe I wanted something which he couldn't give me and he ran away. So we broke up and well, I changed after him." 

Yixing felt strange speaking with Sehun about this, it meant that he had to be confident with his feelings, he had to speak what Sehun meant for him. But Yixing couldn't do this, not now when Sehun looked so distant, so far from him that Yixing couldn't tell if they had a chance to grow for something else, or they could move on, understand each other and be happy. Yixing didn't know anything about Sehun either, he couldn't read any of his expressions right.

"So you changed and now you don't want to be serious with anyone?" Yixing nodded. "Don't want to be or you're scared of being close with someone like me." This surprised Yixing.

"Do you want me to be serious with you then?" He replied back with a question.

"I wouldn't say no, however, I don't trust you." Sehun chuckled then, from both of them he was one who had it easier to be bold and honest. Yixing nodded in understanding.

"I don't trust myself either." He spoke but he had already done his choice. "But I want to be serious with you even when I might end up hurt again, Sehun. I want to know your schedule, I want to be able to hug you and kiss you when you're leaving or when you're coming back. I want to be your partner." Yixing actually was annoyed that a man who was not related to Sehun in any ways, knew his lover's schedule better than Yixing knew it.

"Do you actually mean it? Or are you saying this because you're jealous?" Sehun asked carefully, as if he didn't let himself believe that Yixing was serious.

"I love you." Yixing said simply, his eyes not leaving Sehun's, not even for a moment and he hoped he didn't let a place for Sehun to argue about this confession.

"Okay...good." Sehun replied back awkwardly and stood up. "If that's all you wanted to tell me, you could wait after I was done with work, I was going to come to your place anyways, my manager didn't book a room for me since he believed I'll be with you...anyways, I should work and you have to leave." 

Yixing might be slow but he could see how distant and cold Sehun grew towards him, how the younger avoided his eyes and how he was acting as if he was nuisance to Yixing, the type which Yixing was ready to lie to in order to keep everything fine. And Yixing didn't like this at all.

"Wait, don't conclude things on your own, Oh Sehun!" Yixing shouted for the first time in Korean, he hadn't used the language for too long and he had forgotten most of it, but if he was going to be serious, he should at least make the effort. Yixing had spent time to improve his Korean only because Sehun was Korean.

"What?" Sehun asked, still speaking Mandarin. "Why are you speaking in Korean?" he asked even more confused.

"I called you here not because I want you to think that I make fun of you! I called you here because I want you to be better than Lu Han." Yixing didn't miss how Sehun mouthed a _'what'_ , surprisingly making Yixing frustrated. "If you don't shine over him in this photo shoot, you might lose some of the connections you've earned yourself. Lu Han is the jewel in this business, he has power, he has the charm, having him here means that they test you and I know you don't give your all too."

"So you came here to be my teacher?" Sehun laughed sarcastically and Yixing was one moment away from grabbing the collar of Sehun's jacket and push him against the wall, shout into his face that he cared more than what Sehun was giving him credit for, but maybe it was not enough, so he didn't do anything like this.

"I'm just saying the truth, Sehun. You want to stay here, you have to work your ass off against Lu Han, or you have to go back home and forget the market here." Yixing turned around to leave but he heard Sehun's mumbles, the ones which were not meant for him to hear.

"So that you can jump in his bed easier than before, since I will no longer be here in your way."

Something in Yixing snapped then. He couldn't explain if it was the fact that he wasn't as pathetic as Sehun thought him to be, or it was the fact that Sehun didn't trust him at all. Maybe it was the way Sehun never even bothered to speak with him about it, maybe it was that Yixing actually had been holding feelings stronger than he thought towards Sehun. But what he did next, was something Yixing never expect to have the boldness to do without any drop of alcohol in his system or thinking for hours about it. However, Yixing turned back to face Sehun, groaning something about how stupid Sehun was and cupped Sehun's face with his palms before kissing the man.

It was a desperate kiss. A kiss which was needed for Sehun to understand what Yixing meant with his words, a kiss for Yixing to understand why his heart was beating so fast every time Sehun was in front of him, next to him, touching him, kissing him, loving him. Yixing was too deep, even before he accepted it, he was too in love with Sehun to let him go like this.

"The only bed I'll be in, is yours." Yixing hissed against Sehun's soft lips. "I learned Korean again for your sake, you little idiot, if you don't win over Lu Han here, if you decide you don't want to be here in China, I swear, I will follow you back whatever you want to be."

"Do you mean it?" Sehun panted against his lips, pecking him a little bit before moving away, so that he could meet Yixing's eyes. "I mean it, if you're saying for the sake of me doing my job properly even when I feel bad for everything in my life, I won't think twice before leaving your life without any type of trace to find me. Even Chanyeol wouldn't be able to help you and Yifan."

"I love you more than you think. So I mean it. Are you going to show Lu Han your potential, or you would screw everything and walk back to my flat. I still wait for the dinner." Yixing whined a little bit because he could feel how empty his stomach felt at the moment and as much as he wished to be dramatic with Sehun over their relationship, from the way Sehun's stomach growled back, he was sure his lover was just as hungry as he was.

"Give me two hours and I will make sure you'll have the most romantic dinner you can think of, also we should buy cream." Sehun leaned to kiss Yixing's forehead before moving away and fixing his clothes, turning around to check his make up too.

"Why do you need cream? Are you going to bake something?" Yixing asked confused and licked his lips, Sehun's lips felt too sweet, too much as home.

"No, I just want to lick it from my boyfriend's body. So while waiting, please buy some."

With this Sehun walked from the door and Yixing was sure that he was so red in the face that he wouldn't be able to walk out until he didn't calm down. The photographer came to check him out a moment later to praise him that whatever he had told Sehun, he had done the right choice because Sehun was doing such a great job. Finally showing his natural talent with the camera and Yixing felt pride in his chest. So instead of going to buy the cream his boyfriend wanted, Yixing leaned on the opposite wall of where Sehun and Lu Han were posing and his eyes not even once left Sehun's body. He chuckled, after months of struggles, they had finally called each other boyfriends and he liked it. A lot.


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is from Sehun's POV, so you will see more Chanyeol and well you can see how Sehun's brain works, not really checked for typos even less the grammar so excuse me if they're too much /i'll check them out later/!! anyways I hope you'll enjoy!! (and I promise the next chapter comes with good things *wink wonk*)

The growing headache Sehun had once he walked into his friend's hotel room, was killing him to the point of madness and he sighed tiredly, once he sat on the small couch in front of the TV. He had to drive himself to Yixing's flat, or call the older to pick him up, but Chanyeol was nice enough to call him with desperate need for company because his boyfriend was busy to leave for Toronto and forgot to leave the spare key. So Sehun had to be the nicest best friend ever.

"If you look as if I try to murder you all night, you better leave, I'm enough." Chanyeol teased once he walked towards Sehun and gave him one of the two cold beers he was holding and sat next to Sehun.

"I have a headache, and I might have made my boyfriend sad because I didn't explain him the reason why I'm coming here." Sehun sighed at this before gulping down the beer and grabbing a handful of the chips between their hips. He was surprisingly hungry and was close to whine for food but he stopped himself when he noticed the frown on Chanyeol's face.

"You shouldn't act like a brat with him, you know, Yifan says he'll break your neck if you make Yixing unhappy." Chanyeol turned around to look at Sehun with slight disapproving glare.

"As much as I am fond of him, I can't gulp down my pride when he called another man's name while he was fucking me, Chanyeol." Sehun growled the words and pushed himself to sit better, ready to fly away if Chanyeol pushed the topic further than what Sehun was planning to give. "I like the way he confessed to me, I love him in a way, although I believe the way we love each other is different and I want him to be serious with me, but I don't want to let him have the easy way."

"That's why you make it sound as if you're cheating on him with me?" Chanyeol chuckled and turned to ruffle Sehun's head. "Yifan is going to have our heads on a plate if he hears this conversation."

"Yifan is a baby bigger than Yixing with his heart made by gold, I can genuinely say that I'm envious I wasn't his type." Sehun winked at Chanyeol before taking his phone and calling for take out, he was going to starve soon and knowing Chanyeol, he would be to lazy to even bother to feed him something.

"You should stay quiet, you brat, I'm the only one who can satisfy the dragon." Chanyeol laughed at his own words, he was sounding so ridiculous.

"He hadn't tasted me, this is why he believes you're the best." Sehun kept on pushing this topic and was almost ready to fly away when he noticed that Chanyeol was ready to come his way.

Sehun felt a relief, some kind of calmness or even freedom when he was with Chanyeol, teasing him, pushing him, cuddling him. He hadn't felt like this for a long time and even when he was around Yixing, he couldn't understand why he felt as if he was walking on his toes around the older. Trying to keep the ice between then unbroken. Sehun couldn't name the reason why he was feeling this way, he couldn't explain why sometimes he preferred to have never met Yixing to begin with, even less sleeping with him and growing to have some kind of feelings. It was confusing and Sehun had enough on his head, yet he couldn't make himself stop thinking about the said man.

"What are you thinking about?" Chanyeol asked when he noticed that Sehun stopped moving while he was over him, trying to take the snack in Chanyeol's hands.

"I...Is it bad that I like your company more than my boyfriend's?" Sehun asked back with a small voice and looked up at Chanyeol, as if pleading him to say the right answer, the one which would hurt him less.

"It is." Chanyeol replied shortly and freed his wrists from Sehun's hold and let go of the snack next to his head. They had started a random fight over it, while they were waiting for the take out to come and Chanyeol was happy to see his friend smiling again, but when suddenly everything stopped, Chanyeol knew something was going on. The tired sigh, which escaped Sehun's lips was enough of confirmation about his doubts. "You haven't spoken with Yixing about this, am I right?"

"What should I tell him? I kind of love you, Yixing, but sometimes I feel as if I'm close to dying when I'm around you?" Sehun sighed again and put his head on Chanyeol's chest, letting his friend to embrace him just as when they were kids.

"Maybe you shouldn't say it like this, but it won't hurt if you share with him what are you thinking over your relationship?" Chanyeol tried to give an advice but he didn't know enough details around Sehun's relationship with Yixing to give a better answer.

Sehun knew that if he wanted to get a better answer, he should open his mouth and say everything which had been bothering him for months, but he was scared that he would conclude that losing or leaving Yixing would be the better option and Sehun wasn't ready for this. He had never been in relationship as this one, sure he had his fair share for sharing his bed with other, for work or not, but he didn't try to open his heart to someone not until Yixing.

And Yixing was a genuinely nice guy, he was bringing Sehun breakfast when the model stayed at his flat for lunch, Yixing was kissing his as if he was the only man in his life or world. As much as Sehun loved how Yixing looked at him while the former spoke about his day or work, Sehun just couldn't gulp down the heavy feeling at the back of his throat, making him unable to even breathe properly.

It was as if he was scared that being loved would hurt him more, but in the same time he craved Yixing's attention on him, even when he could notice how Yixing had doubts too, how sometimes Yixing's eyes darkened when he had noticed how Sehun was further away from him or how he didn't pay attention on him or how Yixing just drifted away at times, thinking about things Sehun wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

"I'm scared." Sehun confessed in the end, couple of moments before someone on the door rang and he stood up to pay for the take out. Sehun heard how Chanyeol sighed behind him but stood up too and went to take out something to drink.

The moment Sehun walked back with the still hot take out, he was glad that the food was warm, he noticed how Chanyeol was already sitting comfortably, drinking from his new beer and waited for Sehun to speak talking from earlier. But Sehun was stayed quiet, opening the boxes and hoping that Chanyeol would get that he didn't want to talk and that they should enjoy their evening a little bit more than they did until now.

"You know, I was worried when Yifan came to me, I don't know Chinese, I have no idea why I even have to be in the Chinese market too, but when he approached me I thought I'll doom myself." Chanyeol laughed at the memory how awkward both of them were while trying to communicate with one another with broken English until Yifan didn't decide that he should speak in Korean instead, heavy with accent but still understandable.

"And you're saying this...because?" Sehun stared at his friend a little bit confused because he didn't know why he started to speak about it.

"Because I was scared too, I was into girls you know that and suddenly I went crazy over a Chinese dude." Chanyeol chuckled. "I didn't think I'll be loved, you know. I wasn't sure if I'll be truly loved." Sehun rolled his eyes at that, he had seen the way they looked at each other, Yifan and Chanyeol, if they weren't in love, Sehun didn't know who else could. "Don't laugh, we needed a month to speak about this, especially because unlike you, I don't have reason to spend so much time here."

"True that." Sehun chuckled, the perks of being a model, he could be all around. But he sobered up and turned to look at Chanyeol, expectantly. "What happened then? When you spoke, I mean?"

"We had sex." Sehun was close to cursing at Chanyeol, before the latter spoke again. "We fought. It was a heavy one, because both of us had different thoughts about our relationship and how we could handle it like mature people. Unlike Yixing, Yifan isn't ready to screw everything and come to Korea with me." Chanyeol chuckled sadly and kept speaking, this time his voice was more quiet. "We decided that we would shower each other with love and understanding but when things get heavy we will break up."

"Are you okay with this?" Sehun asked, he knew his friend for so long, he knew that the love Chanyeol was feeling towards Yifan was too strong to be mentioned to as something he could easily let go of.

"Surprisingly, I am." Chanyeol shook his head, possibly from a memory which came with is thoughts of that conversation with Yifan. "I shows that we're both ready to break things out, if we're hurting each other. It might sound strange, but we both think that a relationship shouldn't be hurting the other or both of us. It should be something which gives us happiness even if we're arguing and fighting. We believe that a relationship should be something with which we can improve and grow, instead of hurting each other and pulling each other down."

Sehun stared at Chanyeol with slight amazement and something else, close to understanding. Both of them stayed quiet again, slowly eating their food and their eyes were drifting to the screen of the TV, neither of them too deep into the plot of the movie in front of them. Sehun was thinking about his own problems, his own thoughts over Yixing. He must admit Yixing was selfless when it came to his choices in a relationship. However, Sehun wasn't as easy to fool. There was something else in the way Yixing so easily cheered on Sehun.

"I'm scared that what I feel for Yixing isn't real." Sehun spoke finally, since Chanyeol mentioned something about his relationship, even if it was vague of reasons and conclusions, it was enough for Sehun to give up on trying to hide his own thoughts. "This and also because I don't feel comfortable being loved as Yixing does, I mean I am happy, but I can't make myself trust him. It feels too forced?"

"Have you mentioned this to him?" Chanyeol spoke quietly, he could understand what was running in Sehun's mind. After all Yixing let out a slip once, he could do it again and Sehun wished to be in serious relationship, only with someone he truly loved and trusted. 

"I can't bring myself to speak, since I think I can hurt him as Lu Han did. From what I could gather, by the way both of them acted around each other that time and the looks they shared, I can say the thing they had is very serious. They have some kind of affections left for each other, but something else worries me more." Sehun sighed and groaned. "I feel as teenage girl, but what if I break something in Yixing, something which, I don't know, might have him lose even the last hope of being with someone?"

"So you worry about this more than the fact that maybe he would choose his ex over you?" Chanyeol smiled a little bit before chuckling. "You are just as selfless as he is."

"No, I'm not, but think over it! He had became someone who enjoys sleeping around while drinking for the sake of all his break ups. What if I make him worse, because my love for him might never be the one he craves for?" Sehun was close to shouting and maybe crying, he had been so lost and worried for some time now. He was jealous of the way Yifan and Chanyeol had found each others' best choices and had some kind of harmony, which Sehun and Yixing were running from.

"When I go to sleep, go to Yixing and speak with him, Sehun, I think this would help the both of you the best."

Sehun stayed quiet but at least nodded, giving the slightest feeling of relief in Chanyeol, who was worried that Sehun would just try to run away from the problems than facing them. He was right, Sehun had the habit to run away and later to move back close to the person he had run away from. But now, there was something in Sehun's guts, telling him that he should go to Yixing and speak about it. Neither Sehun or Yixing were teenagers or small kids, to try to push their thoughts away. Sehun couldn't keep on dancing around Yixing, half trusting him and half worrying, it was healthy for their growing relationship. Neither it was something he enjoyed to do.

While he kept on eating his food, unfortunately he had to stay quiet because Yifan had called Chanyeol, telling him that he had arrived and would be back in couple of days, Sehun didn't miss the way Chanyeol's eyes lightened. How excited he sounded, how lovely the whole atmosphere around him changed and Sehun sighed. He wondered if Yixing changed like this when Sehun called him, or he was frowning and trying to say the right things only.

For a moment, Sehun thought that the only good thing between them was the sex, but he was reminded of the small incident with Yixing and Lu Han, Sehun doubted this too. He knew Yixing didn't mind letting him do everything he wished and he was sure that if Sehun asked for something Yixing would follow it, but this is what scared Sehun. He wasn't sure if it was good idea to request something from Yixing and maybe this was one of the reasons why their relationship was on the edge.

Sighing, Sehun didn't feel like eating anymore and only pushed back his head, once he left his food on the small table in front of him and leaned down on the sofa. He was growing tired only from thinking about his potential talk with Yixing and their relationship. He wished to believe that it wasn't something bad or something which would make him feel low as a person, but in the same time, he could feel the uneasy feelings inside his guts.

"You look as if you're going to die." Chanyeol commented once his conversation with Yifan was over and turned around to face his friend. Sehun looked slightly pale and his eyes looked as if he was going to cry soon.

"I feel like dying." Sehun chuckled dryly and noticed Chanyeol's car keys. "Do you mind if I borrow your car for tonight, I'll bring it back tomorrow?"

"No problem, just get hold of yourself before leaving, I don't want your running mind to make you do something we all might regret." 

Sehun nodded and closed his eyes for a moment. He had to calm himself, because he was sure that just as ready he was to face Yixing, this easily he could turn back and leave without doing even the slightest effort to speak with the man.

 

○○○

Visiting Yixing in the middle of the night wasn't as easy as Sehun thought. His plan was, he would drive to the parking, park the car, go to Yixing's flat, speaks what he has on his mind and then he would either leave or he would be happy with Yixing.

What happened was different, not only he couldn't find good spot to park the car without any chance of getting a scratch but also he had forgotten that the basement of Yixing's building had a restaurant and maybe Yixing mentioned that these days it would be packed because some important people of the politics and the society would visit it. 

Sehun groaned at this and almost cursed himself at forgetting these small details and he hoped that if there is a scratch on the car, Chanyeol would take it lightly, if not Sehun had to drive the car to get repaired. But this wasn't the biggest problem Sehun had right.

He might have been popular and his face to be known, but apparently not everyone thought like this, because the guards, one of which Sehun knew for sure that the man knew him and he knew he's close to Yixing without much detail about their relationship but still it was something, didn't let him in because he didn't have any prove that he had lived or any kind of business with the building, the flats, even less the restaurant.

With a grand frustration and embarrassment, Sehun had to call Yixing, who apparently had decided to sleep earlier because he barely could comprehend what Sehun was speaking. A moment later, sleepy and almost half naked Yixing walked to the lobby to explain that Sehun is his friend and that he didn't have a place to stay, so Yixing is kind enough to take him home. One of the guards eyed Sehun with suspicion and tsk-ed his tongue before letting Sehun pass and walk after Yixing.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make a problem when I decided to visit." Sehun apologized while he was cursing himself, the plan was different, he just wanted to knock on Yixing's door and maybe surprise him, not make a drama out of his visit and wake up Yixing, who seemed so tired.

"It's okay, I didn't know that I have fallen asleep, I was trying to compose a song for this new artist, Huang ZiTao, I believe you've heard of him, he had been a great hype in the Korean medias too." Yixing turned around to smile at Sehun once he walked in front of his door and unlocked it.

"Yeah, I know him." Sehun more than simply knew the guy but he was going to mention this some time later, first he had to confess.

Yixing told him that he would do some tea, since he needed to wake up and finish the piece he was working on and coffee would be too strong for him. Sehun agreed and walked to the living room and turned on the TV, once again staring the screen without getting anything of the plot because of his thoughts.

Yixing walked a moment later, with two cups of hot tea and sat next to him, Sehun was sure that his boyfriend could that something was going. Yixing was looking at him carefully as if something was going to erupt and maybe they would fight, but still he sat very close to Sehun. For a moment, Sehun wished that Yixing would put his head on his shoulder. But none of that happened, leaving him slightly disappointed.

"So what brings you here? I thought you will be with Chanyeol for the whole night." Yixing spoke with his calm and gentle voice, the one with which Yixing called Sehun while they were together in bed, and usually Sehun loved it but now he felt a pressure he didn't want to have.

"I want to talk with you." Sehun spoke up and put his cut on his thigh, still holding it but he didn't feel like drinking yet. "I think we should speak about our relationship."

"I thought everything is okay?" Yixing's voice was small, as if he was fearing for this time to come and have problems with Sehun.

"It's not actually, I still haven't gulped down the fact that you called Lu Han while you were inside me. I don't exactly like the idea of you letting go of everything for my sake, although I can't deny that at first I was very happy that you care so much about me and last but not least, I'm not sure if the love we feel is the same." Sehun noticed that the words were leaving his mouth too fast but he couldn't stop himself, they had to speak.

"Do you want to break up?" Yixing's voice didn't change but he no longer looked at Sehun, as if he was getting prepared for what was going to happen.

"No, not really, I just want us to speak over things and get the general idea of our possible growing relationship." Sehun commented and noticed that they way he spoke, he was actually acting as if he was in business meeting and speaking with his lover. He sighed and spoke again. "I love you, I'm not sure if the same for you, but I hold you dear to me, but I'm scared that in the end I'll hurt you more than you've been hurt until now and that's why I can't exactly open up to you."

"You're scared?" Yixing asked and chuckled. "I didn't think of this, I thought you didn't care for me enough to even bother." Sehun frowned at this, he knew he wasn't the best type of a guy in relationship, but he was sure he had shown Yixing that he loved him.

"I love you, Yixing. Look, I want us to work things out and be happy together, but I don't trust you and you seem as if you're walking on a glass while being around me. And I want both of us to be happy and I honestly believe that if we can't make each other happy, then it would be better if we have nothing to do with each other. But I can't break up with you now, because we haven't even tried."

Both stayed quiet then, they didn't know what to say but both could say that something had been missing in the thing they had. Yixing was looking down at his cup when Sehun turned to look at him and notice the bothered expression Yixing had. This made Sehun feel worse because he was sure that he wasn't acting as he should, neither he was explaining himself so well, but he wasn't sure how to phrase himself right, so that he wouldn't hurt Yixing further, so he went for the next thing he knew: kissing Yixing.

He had put his cup on the ground and cupped Yixing's face with his palms when he turned the guy around and captured his lips with his own. It was slow and gentle kiss, their tongues gently touching and playing. Sehun sighed with relief when he heard the content moan leaving Yixing's lips when Sehun's deepened the kiss.

"I want us to be happy." Sehun mumbled against Yixing's lips. "I need us to be happy so that I can get to know you and trust you, everything went too fast for us and the main thing keeping us going is the sex. I don't want only sex from you, Yixing, I want something more, something on which I can lean on when I'm alone and away from you, knowing that you'll be mine even if we won't be able to see each other. I don't want you to leave behind things and people for my sake, because I won't be able to do the same for you."

"I know you won't." Yixing chuckled and pecked Sehun before moving away, so that he could clearly see Sehun's face, but let Sehun's palms on his face. "I want us to know each other too and be more content with what we have. But I don't change my thoughts, if I think it's the right thing to do, I'll leave the things I have here to follow you."

"But..."

"I know, Sehun." Sehun frowned when Yixing didn't let him disagree. "I've been hurt for too long but I've noticed I never proved myself and my feelings and I want thing thing between us to be more than simple attachment and possible love. And if I think I have future in some other place than here, why not trying it out?"

Sehun couldn't deny this, risking for the sake of improvement or better future wasn't something Sehun could disagree with. So he sighed and moved back to lean down on the couch they were sitting on.

"So, how are we going to do this?" Sehun asked and moved Yixing closer to him, he wanted to hug the man with everything he had.

"How about we go on actual date and maybe small holiday? You should be free next month right?" Sehun nodded and kissed Yixing's head. "Do you want to go on double date with Yifan and Chanyeol?"

"I don't mind as long as we act as men and not actual school girls going crazy over our idols." Sehun mumbled and sighed. "I don't mind them, but how can I know you better like this?"

"Easy, I'm most comfortable around Yifan and I show my true self around him, although I guess I don't hide myself from you too, but still, let's try it out?"

Sehun stayed quiet for a while, thinking about the good and the bad sides of the possible date and sighed. He would either doom himself with it and make Yifan hate him or he could go crazy with Chanyeol and make Yixing question everything in their relationship. But the choice was obvious.

"Okay, we're going to do this like men." Sehun sighed and closed his eyes. He was doomed.


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Typos and grammar fails as presents + very long chapter lol anyways i lied, this chapter is a mess too but the last 2 chapters are literally fluff and smut! I hope you'll enjoy :))

A small vacation with the people you love and care about is one of the best feelings Yixing concluded. 

However, it wasn't as easy to say this as Yixing had thought of. Since the double date he and Sehun had in mind turned to be something bigger than a simple date. And because Sehun couldn't say no to Chanyeol no matter how much he tried to deny it. Also Yixing couldn't say no to Yifan too, not after the small conversation they had once Yifan was back and visited Yixing couple of days after the talk with Sehun. Not that he couldn't say no, it was more like his curiosity about everything happening between them that made him unable to say no.

"So I heard from Chanyeol that maybe some things between you and Sehun had changed?" Yifan asked while he was sipping casually from his whiskey, while both were in a club, listening the loud music from the VIP room they were into. Yixing was alone because Sehun had said he had to spend the time with his manager to speak about his further plans in his schedule.

Also Yifan had just arrived from his visit to Canada, yet he had called Yixing first and demanded explanation. As much Yixing was grateful for having a friend as dedicated as Yifan, this much he was actually worried of how Yifan would take Sehun's ideas of growing into their relationship. So he decided to keep quiet for the most part and just mention a smaller part of it. It wasn't that he was scared of Yifan but he didn't want to make things harder for all of them, and their potential happy double date together.

"He says he doesn't want me to let go of everything to go after him." Yixing chuckled, he had found Sehun so cute then because he could notice how much the younger genuinely cared for this and Yixing. "Also he mentioned a double date with you and Chanyeol."

"Should I pretend that I don't know that you're hiding something from me?" Yifan chuckled at this and shook his head. "Double date would be disaster I might say, however, have in mind that I'll keep and eye on Sehun, no matter how much you say he is innocent."

"I never said he's innocent?" Yixing was confused.

"Exactly." and that was the moment when Yixing was sure that Yifan had something in mind, and probably this something would not be liked by anyone, except Yifan himself.

One of the reasons why Sehun sleepily mumbled that Yixing should take two weeks off work and get ready to go on trip to South Korea, was because Chanyeol wished to take the both Chinese men to the places he and Sehun were feeling most comfortable in. Other reason was to make sure Yixing could get a better idea of what was happening in Sehun's life. Neither of these reasons actually scared Yixing, what he didn't enjoy was the hard looks Yifan was sometimes giving Sehun. Even before they left for the vacation. It made him feel slightly uneasy about the situation they were in.

Actually the way Sehun had announced it, was cute, Yixing had started to feel that many things Sehun was doing were actually cute. 

They had just finished making love, as Yixing liked to call it, he was feeling wonderful, Sehun had been exceptionally gentle while caressing his body and kissing him everywhere, then he had made sure that Yixing would feel most comfortable and widely stretched before penetrating. Yixing loved it when Sehun didn't want to finish fast and hot, but took his time and played around. But still Sehun wasn't open enough on the emotional part of their relationship. So no one could blame him for the moment of anxiety when Sehun leaned over him again, half asleep and very tired, with a slight smile, saying that Yixing had to be ready to get low key married to him.

"What?" Yixing had asked then, confused, a little bit worried and actually scared. He knew he loved Sehun, but the mention of marriage reminded him of some dark times in his life.

"I mean Chanyeol want us to be home for two weeks, you and Yifan should be with us." Sehun yawned and leaned to peck Yixing's lips. "So you can spend your time in my flat there, we can try to be together more, since well, I'm kind of free until next month?"

"Yeah, I don't mind." Yixing replied as gently as he could and kissed Sehun back before greeting each other with good night.

Yixing was comfortable after that, he had figured out that it was only joke coming from Sehun. And he could honestly say that he was excited for what he was going to see. He wanted to see how Sehun acted when he was at home, in a place he was feeling most comfortable with. 

Yifan couldn't share his interests. Yifan was actually whining and was grumpy from the fact that he had to be somewhere he wished to not be. Especially because Chanyeol had told his sister and parents about their relationship.

"I guess you're married." Yixing had teased him them, trying to put an arm over Yifan's shoulders even though the height difference made it kind of impossible to be done so easily, but didn't change the fact that it annoyed Yifan further.

"I have to be nice and I'm not nice." Yifan's only comeback when Yixing kept on bothering him about this topic.

"Are you kidding me? You're the nicest man alive, I can't see you dealing with his family though. What if all of them are as hyper and lovely as Chanyeol? You'll fall for all of them."

"Shut the hell up, Zhang Yixing!"

Making fun of Yifan had always been bringing joy to Yixing. Since they knew each other, it was so rare for Yixing to find a decent reason to tease his friend. But around Chanyeol there had always been something which Yixing could make use of.

Around that time Yixing figured out that he didn't know much about Sehun. He didn't know about his past relationships, his future plans, his career or life plans, he didn't even know if Sehun was actually gay or he just wished to play around for now and later to marry a woman and have children, because this wasn't uncommon. So when he felt how comfortable Sehun was with Chanyeol and speaking about women and their bodies, Yixing felt strangely uneasy.

They had just arrived in Seoul, apparently first they were going to stay in Sehun's flat, all four of them, since he had the bigger flat from both of them with Chanyeol and Chanyeol had mentioned that his flat was further away from his parents' home, so he had been half-living with Sehun for some time now. Yifan was close to whining then, about how he wished to be in Chanyeol's flat instead, having in mind that they didn't have enough private time alone, but Chanyeol was fast enough to shush him and kiss him on the lips before making himself comfortable next to Sehun, with an arm around Sehun's shoulders.

Yixing didn't think much of it then, how comfortable both of them were, how easy they were to figure out their emotions or how they had private jokes between them. It wasn't uncommon, having in mind his relationship with Yifan and how both of them were so easy to understand the other. However, something was pushing Yixing into some kind of uneasiness he couldn't comprehend or put other name than uneasiness. He wasn't jealous from Chanyeol, he would be hypocrite if he did, however, there was something else, he couldn't name, yet he knew he couldn't stop staring when Chanyeol leaned closer to Sehun and put his head to lean on Sehun's. It seem as a habit which would be shared between lovers. Yixing never did something like this with Yifan.

"Yixing, want to come with me to take a smoke?" Yifan asked him, patting his shoulder once he were standing up next to him and motioned Yixing to follow him. And again Yixing felt uneasy to leave both Sehun and Chanyeol alone in Sehun's living room, while staring some Disney animation they both loved.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming." Yixing replied even when he felt his throat to tighten even more but he decided to shook his thoughts away and let them be. He should think so much of it anyways. He was reading into something which didn't exist or so he thought.

"They had been together, Sehun and Chanyeol, I mean. High school and trainee sweethearts." Yifan spoke once he had his cigarette lightened and between his lips, leaning on the balcony and stared ahead at the beautiful night sight. The buildings were shining like small stars and Yixing was fascinate at the city, but his eyes drifted back to Yifan once he understood the words he had heard.

"How..." he wished to know how Yifan knew about it, Sehun had never mentioned it and Yixing highly doubted Sehun would speak about it.

"Chanyeol slipped when he was angry at me while he was fighting last month. He told me that he should have never let go of Sehun if he was going to end up with heartless jerk as I am." Yifan chuckled then and turned to face Yixing. "He only replied to me once he calmed down and he said they broke up only because they wanted to see if they were going to be happy with someone else other than each other."

"So they didn't break up because they stopped loving each other?" Yixing asked quietly, he knew there was something but he never thought it was at this point. Honestly, Sehun and Chanyeol rarely and barely gave off the vibe of people who had been in relationship.

"Yes, so you now know why I wish to keep better look on Sehun. I know Chanyeol is fond of me, I cannot say how much this fondness is, is it love or simple affection? But I can tell that Sehun would do something, yet I still cannot be sure what exactly." Yifan sighed and finished his cigarette.

"So you think Sehun isn't fond of me?" Yixing felt hurt by this, he believed that Sehun loved him in a way, even the latter had spoken about it, it wasn't the strong love, Yixing could say this much, but there was something else, something which could be shared only between Sehun and Yixing.

"No, I believe he is, or he wouldn't have stayed for so long. He doesn't seem the type especially having in mind how he had taken some of his jobs." Yifan stayed quiet for a while before speaking again. "I know you're aware of his habits. I believe he isn't the whore-type of a man, since Chanyeol trusts him too deeply and Sehun isn't the type to betray him. But..."

"He had given favors in some cases when he was asked. I know." Yixing turned around to look back into the room, Chanyeol and Sehun was laughing at something they were watching, he seemed so happy. "What if they would be happier without us?"

"I don't plan on giving Chanyeol, yet, Yixing, I love him too much to let him go. So think over what you and Sehun would do."

With this Yixing was left alone on the balcony, where the air was getting colder and his doubts bigger. He noticed how Chanyeol frowned when Yifan sat next to him, probably sensing the smoke, but still leaned fully on him. Letting go of Sehun, whose face didn't show any emotion. When Yixing walked back inside he wondered, if Sehun was jealous or he was wondering if Yixing would walk back inside soon. But even if his thoughts were playing tricks on him, he had smiled at Sehun and sat next to him, kissing his cheek and asking what he had missed from the movie. 

Since then the night was fine, as much as Yixing kept on thinking on everything else but Sehun's past relationship with Chanyeol, everything was okay. Sehun had put his hands around Yixing's wait couple of times, pulling him closer, kissing his neck and gently whispering against his ear if Yixing was okay, if something was bothering him, he should speak with Sehun, if he was tired, they could excuse themselves, since they were in Sehun's flat and Chanyeol pretty much owned the place, so no one would mind. Yixing would mind, he thought, he would mind because he wondered if Chanyeol had sex with Sehun in the same bed Yixing was going to sleep now and this bothered him.

However, he said nothing. He couldn't bring himself to do so, having in mind what he did and how he had to introduce Lu Han to Sehun. Yixing didn't want to pry into Sehun's life without actual reason to so. Especially when he knew that he could be very bad at judging. Yixing was sure that it was mainly his mind playing with him. And not that Sehun was actually overly affectionate with Chanyeol and the other way around. So staying quiet, he thought it was the best choice. 

Unfortunately, it didn't stay for long. Someone called Sehun, right when they were in middle of dinner, dinning with fast food while sharing stories and plan what they'll do the next then. Sehun frowned and stood up, excusing himself and walking back to his bedroom. Yixing wasn't late to miss the fact that Chanyeol had stood up right after Sehun and looked worried, but shook his head and smiled widely, sitting back again. 

"He must speak with the secret lover." Chanyeol teased and punched lightly Yixing shoulder, to show that he was teasing and didn't mean anything behind it, but Yixing wasn't calm. It was the other way around, he got even more worried because of Chanyeol's reaction.

"I'm sorry, I feel tired, you will decide what we're going to do tomorrow right?" Yixing excused himself and looked at Yifan when he asked about their plans. He was satisfied with the nod he got and turned around towards where Sehun had left.

Yixing noticed that Sehun was speaking in Mandarin once he was close to the room, the door was slightly ajar and Yixing used it as advantage to move in easier. He was glad that Sehun didn't notice him, so that he wouldn't be startled, however, he soon regretted following Sehun, because not only he could understand the conversation, but soon after he understood with whom Sehun spoke and Yixing felt slightly betrayed.

"Tao, how many times we have to speak about this, we're over. I don't want to have anything to do with you, nothing romantically at least." Sehun sighed over the phone, his free hand was in his hair, slightly pulling it, as if he was wondering if this was actually real conversation, or maybe it was frustration, worry was possible too. "No, I don't love you, I never did."

Just then Sehun turned around and faced Yixing who had find a place to lean against the wall right next to the door. He had closed the door and his eyes were on Sehun, who seemed slightly shocked to meet Yixing's angry eyes on him, but he didn't end the conversation, instead he closed his eyes and almost groaned.

"Listen, I thought I've done it clearly that I don't want to have anything to do with you. I even avoid you, ZiTao, are you serious right now?" Sehun was shouting over the phone, he seemed so frustrated, Yixing wondered what ZiTao was saying to make Sehun feel like this. "I'm not free, either, so I won't come...Please, Tao, don't do this to me. We both know it won't work." Sehun groaned again. "I fuck another man, Tao!" Sehun shouted again, this time he was panting. "I won't touch you again, you got that!" Sehun stayed quiet, then looked at Yixing again and sighed. "Zhang Yixing...yes, the man who wrote your song...yes, I knew about it...no, I didn't stop him neither I helped him...ZiTao I control no one." Sehun moved his hand from his hair to the bridge of his nose and pinched it. "I love him. Yes, I do love him, stop making me stupid. You have a girl too, or I have to remind you...Okay, bye."

The conversation was over, Sehun ended it, locked his phone and threw it on the bed, before sitting down on it. He looked miserable, but Yixing knew Sehun was sure that by now Yixing had clicked the things together. So Yixing wasn't surprised when Sehun looked back at him, his elbows on his knees and sad look in his eyes.

"I guess you want explanation." Sehun stated with light chuckle. "Did you figure out about Chanyeol too?" Yixing nodded and Sehun let out a painful groan.

"Why you didn't say anything about ZiTao, when I mentioned him?" Yixing asked and frowned some more. He didn't know what Sehun would stay quiet about it. Except if he didn't cheat but Yixing doubted it.

"I didn't say anything because I thought you'll accuse me of cheating, since the time when I slept with you for the first time, I was still connected with him." Sehun gave this short explanation before he ruffled his hair and spoke again, before Yixing could comment about it. "Don't get me wrong, I broke up with him last year, long before I know him, but at some point I got tired and lonely, so I asked him again, to be sex buddies more than anything." Sehun sighed. "But, well, things happened, I didn't enjoy his company as much as I did before and when you came into me, I didn't say no to you. Once I noticed thing could go serious between us, I broke all connections with him, but he grew to want more. And we were fighting too, but I'm sorry for not saying anything. I know I'm at fault right now."

Yixing noticed how guilty Sehun looked, he could notice how tired the younger looked but he wasn't satisfied. He needed to know more about Chanyeol too, so he didn't think twice before asking about it. He was also happy that they were speaking normally and not like his exes, shouting into each other's faces.

"What's the story behind Chanyeol?"

Yixing noticed that Sehun didn't seem surprised by the question, it close to the opposite as if he was expecting it sooner or later. For the short period of time, Yixing concluded that indeed they had gotten to know each other even if it was a little bit. Sehun was easy to notice details and Yixing although he wished to be the dense type of a man, didn't miss as much as he wished.

"Childhood friends mixed with curiosity, later feelings had been growing and in the end, growing tired of one another." Sehun sighed and closed his eyes again, as if speaking about it was giving him physical pain. "That's the short version, which apparently you must know. The other, I fell in love with him, he went with the flow and eventually fell back for me. It was good, it was nice, we were happy, but then our careers came and we got greedy, even if we still were in love." Sehun chuckled and shook his head, finally looking back at Yixing. "We decided to leave each other be and try with other people. Mutual agreement on trying, but eventually I noticed how the sexual relationships would help me grow faster, Chanyeol disapproved. However, he decided that he should look for serious relationship, instead of the types I have and he saw Yifan. From then on, I believe you know what has been happening."

"What about me then?" Yixing asked, genuinely curious and slightly grateful for the honest answer, Yifan had said enough for Yixing to know what to expect.

"You weren't in my plan." Sehun laughed bitterly. "You came out of nowhere, I decided it would be fun to play with you if you approached me. And you did, but then you wanted more and I was jealous of Chanyeol. He had someone permanent as Yifan, because no one can deny it. And here I was lonely with couple of fuck buddies and fuck related relationships for work and nothing else."

"So you came for me because I looked desperate?" Now Yixing was the one with the bitter taste in his mouth. Was he really this desperate?

"No, not really, but you looked genuinely in need to be in relationship and I decided to try. Things grew between us and I was fond of you, so I decided it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be." Sehun stood up and walked closer to Yixing. "Like I said my love for you, might be different than yours for me."

"Did you cheat on me?" Yixing asked, he didn't want to meet Sehun's eyes right now. He was scared that he'll see something he wouldn't like and as much as he was feeling content with the thing he had now, he didn't want to break it up.

"No, I was close to it once, but I stopped myself."

"Why?" it was barely audible.

"I couldn't let myself to hurt you."

Both of them stayed quiet then, not saying anything, just looking at each other as if trying to find the right answers and words, so that they could speak up and maybe clean the misunderstanding. But was it misunderstanding? Yixing couldn't be sure, they didn't fought, they didn't shout, they only spoke. Not even once he had this kind of situation with anyone else in his life. Sehun was calm, as if he was expecting something to happen, but didn't make the move. Yixing wondered should he say that they're better off without each other or keep it. Instead he sighed and turned around, his back facing Sehun when he moved to walk out of the door.

"Are we breaking up?" Sehun asked, his voice was calm, but the small crack in the end motioned at Yixing that maybe Sehun wasn't as calm as he tried to look.

"I don't know, Sehun, but I'll sleep outside. The couch seems good." With this Yixing walked out and closed quietly the door. He sighed with relief when he saw that Yifan and Chanyeol were gone. He could have some time alone.

Yixing wasn't surprised from the fact that Sehun didn't follow him, he was actually glad because he could spent some time alone and think what he wanted. Because he had spoken a lot, mentioned how much he's ready to sacrifice for Sehun, but his doubts grew just as fast as his feelings for Sehun. Either he had to get used to everything coming his way, or he had to break everything, these were the only options Yixing was seeing.

As much as he disliked this part of his personality, he started to compare Sehun with Lu Han and he had noticed how different they were. If Lu Han was the one who was confronted as Sehun was moments ago, he would deny, or he would violently return back the true and make it seem as if it was Yixing's fault. Sehun took everything too calmly, as if he knew sooner or later something like this would happen or maybe he had been dealing with a problem as this one before.

Yixing was finally comfortable on the couch, staring at the ceiling, enjoying the quiet night, when he felt someone to step closer to him. For a moment he thought that it was Yifan, but he was sure that Yifan would be sleeping since he was tired. It was either Sehun or Chanyeol.

"Why are you here, did Sehun kick you out?" The quiet deep voice close to Yixing's ear, startled him for a moment, but Chanyeol turned on the TV again, munching on some carrot while looking ahead at the channels.

"I kicked myself out." Yixing sighed and turned on his side to face the TV too. "Want to sit on the couch? I can stand up."

"Nah, I'm used to be on the floor, since Sehun kicks me away." Chanyeol chuckled at possible memory before he frowned and asked. "Why are you here?"

"We got in kind of...argument? I'm not sure since we didn't exactly fight, we just spoke over things and well, I don't know..." Yixing was feeling so frustrated because he couldn't say anything, since he wasn't sure if he was reading the situation right.

"Did you break up?" Chanyeol asked and Yixing was close to asking why he was so sure about the possible break up, but stayed quiet.

"Not really, I think Sehun let me to take the decision."

"Of course, he will. He never steps up." Chanyeol replied slightly annoyed and groaned. "He's stupid. Anyways, before you decide on anything, wait for these two weeks to pass. I believe things would get better, if not, you're going to get to know him."

"What if even after I know him, I still want to break up with him..."

"No one would blame you, since I did the same thing as you might do. No matter how much you like him, you have no idea what runs in his head."

Chanyeol turned around to face Yixing and gave him a short gentle smile before standing up and walking back to his room. Yixing was once again alone but this time with working TV and he didn't even bother to turn it off. He liked the distraction.

 

○○○

Getting to know Sehun for two weeks, wasn't as hard as Yixing thought. It wasn't as exciting either.

Apparently Sehun was easy to please. If someone pats him on the head, if they give him chocolate, if they give him bubble tea or they bring him to a nice quiet place, he would be happy, smiling and shining as if he was a child. Also if he was somewhere he was comfortable with, he would be loud and easy-going, teasing everyone, mainly Chanyeol, and be playful.

Yixing was surprised but he didn't know how to think of it. Here, in Korea, in the places Sehun either grew up or just recently found out, he was totally different than the man Yixing had met months ago. Sehun was so different now, so unknown to Yixing. As if he was another person. Chanyeol had patted Yixing's shoulder with a smile when he noticed how quiet the latter was.

"That's Sehun when he doesn't think he should pretend." he simply sad and walked further towards Yifan to cuddle him and make fun of his cat ears, the ones which Sehun had put on Yifan's head moments ago, with bright smile and Yifan didn't have the heart to take them off.

The whole time Sehun was close to Yixing, he didn't try to touch him, lean on him or even less kiss him as he did before. The only things coming Yixing's way were small smiles and quiet chuckles but nothing else, nothing romantic, nothing to show that they were in intimate relationship and Yixing was grateful for that, because he had time to think over his own emotions.

"He's different than usual, isn't he?" Yifan asked once he had sat down on the bench in a park they visited. It was full with different flowers, parents and children were around, playing or simply walking around. Couples were there too and Yixing noticed how easy it was to be out like this. Sehun and Chanyeol had gone to buy drinks and food before they drive towards Chanyeol's home.

"He is." Yixing replied simply and looked up to see the sky between the trees. The weather was warm but not hot enough to make him sweat and hot.

"Do you like him like this?" Yifan knew what to ask, he had met the other of the people Yixing had been meeting before and he knew that the type of people Yixing liked, weren't like the cheerful happy Sehun, who could seem childish when he wanted something but strong and willful when he thought that he should make himself clear. The ones Yixing liked were the dark, closed to themselves people, who had power in their hands and knew how to use it. 

"I don't know." Yixing sighed and groaned. "I have no idea what I feel for him." he confessed. He didn't know if he loved Sehun, or he just liked the idea of loving or just the new sides of Sehun were confusing him and his thoughts. But he knew that if it kept like this, he would have to forget about Sehun.

"Why don't you start from the beginning?" Yifan suggested. "I mean, you clearly don't know him and I'm sure he isn't sure if he knows you either. Having in mind the way your relationship started to begin with, isn't the best thing for a couple. So, I say, just start from the very beginning and go slow, see how everything will go and then do whatever you want."

"Do you think he'll agree with this?" Yixing was slightly doubtful, he didn't want to say he was sure that he would be denied, but in the same time he had only three days before he and Yifan take their flights back to Beijing and he might miss the opportunity to even try with Sehun.

"I don't think he'll say no either." Yifan winked and stood up to walk towards the duo coming their way, fill with bags of food and drinks. Sehun was laughing and pushing Chanyeol away, probably because the latter had said some joke or teased him about something.

The time they spent around Chanyeol's parents was the most relaxing time Yixing had. He had fun hearing stories about both Chanyeol and Sehun. He could see how Chanyeol's dad was teasing both of them, as if Sehun was his son too and maybe he was one, since it was already known for how long Chanyeol and Sehun had been together. Sehun was blushing, pouting, hoping for someone to protect his dignity when Chanyeol's mom was speaking about he was easily distracted and sometimes while he was eating he was making a small mess.

Chanyeol's parents were a good company to speak with too, they were supportive, curious but not pushy and they had gentle smiles. Once they pushed Chanyeol and Sehun away to the grocery shop to buy things for dinner the parents started to speak with Yifan and Yixing. Asking about their careers, future, thoughts of what they want and plans for family. Yixing wasn't surprised when Yifan mentioned that he wished to get married and have children. 

"Do you plan on doing this with Chanyeol?" Chanyeol's father asked with a smile, as if he didn't expect an answer or the opposite, Yixing couldn't tell.

"I'm sorry, but I haven't thought of it." Yifan replied with a bow and smiled awkwardly at the older man.

"Understandable, you have time to think over it, knowing Chanyeol his only thoughts run over the music and probably your activities in bed."

The reply made Yifan choke on his coffee and turned bright red. Yixing patted his back to calm him down while laughing. He liked it when Yifan was this awkward. Yixing noticed that they gave him looks as if they knew what was going on with him and Sehun, but they never spoke of it, neither asked or pushed both of them to be closer. Yixing decided not to think too much over this.

The dinner was calm, quiet talks, a little bit teasing and talks about their careers. Chanyeol's mother was saying how proud she was of Chanyeol and Sehun and how she wished to be able to support them more than she was doing now. Sehun was blushing and casually walk to her to give her a warm embrace, making her sob quietly and hugging him warmly back. Chanyeol joined them a moment later. It was Chanyeol's dad who said it's awkward to see his wife being hugged by such good looking guys in front of him and this earned him a hug on his own.

It was somewhere after finishing dinner and trying the dessert when Yixing decided that he wanted to try but he wanted to know the real Sehun, the one who could laugh loudly or giggle quietly, the one who was running after cute dogs while they were running away from him. He wanted to know the Sehun who he had never seen. The one who didn't seem able to hurt anyone.

So once the dinner was over and Sehun walked out in the garden of the place they were in. Yixing followed him and noticed how excited he was. He wanted to be honest with Sehun and in the same time he wanted to tease him a little bit.

"Have you decided?" Sehun asked, looking ahead, not bothering to turn to face Yixing.

"Let's break up." Yixing replied and moved closer.

"Ah...I guess we should never see each other again?" Sehun turned to look at Yixing then, his eyes were dark, sad but his voice didn't change. 

"Yes, I think so too. Thank you for everything." Yixing patted Sehun's shoulder before walking away. He noticed the quiet nod coming from Sehun.

Couple of steps away Yixing noticed a red colorful flower no idea if he could take it, he cut it away from the others and turned back to face Sehun again. He hadn't move Yixing noticed and he was relieved because what he was going to do now was awkward and stupid.

"Hey, cutie!" Yixing shouted, startling Sehun and making him turn around, looking confused at what was running into Yixing's head.

"Wha..."

"My name is Zhang Yixing, I'm kind of famous, I have relationship problems and I love having sex even though I never admit it. Who are you?" Yixing was sure he was red in the face from the look of amusement in Sehun's face.

"Uh, I'm Oh Sehun, kind of famous too. I'm actually a total country boy even though I act all cool, I can live without sex and I love puppies." Sehun scratched the back of his head, apparently still not sure what was happening.

"Awesome, do you want to be my boyfriend? I promise I won't jump on you, until our fifth date." Yixing winked at Sehun and walked closer, pushing the flower into Sehun's chest.

"Are you sure?" Sehun asked, taking the flower.

"Why? Are you going to break my heart, country boy?" Yixing teased and poked Sehun's nose, before leaning to kiss Sehun. It was only a peck but Yixing was surprised how red Sehun grew to be.

"Yeah, I really want to be your boyfriend...fuck...I want to have sex with you..." Sehun groaned and pulled Yixing closer, biting his neck.

"Nah, after the fifth day. Come on, I want to grab some more of the dessert."

"I hate you." Sehun whined but followed him and put the flower behind his ear. 

"Love you too, flower boy."


	4. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, once again I hadn't checked the update for mistakes but there are some hot scenes too! I hope you'll like it, this time the chapter is shorter :))

Yixing finally understood why Chanyeol liked teasing Sehun so much. Not only his reactions were adorable, but he was getting this lovely shade of pink which Yixing wished to taste.

They had decided to have their dates, once both of them were back in China. Yixing wished to decline and explain he wanted to see Sehun as he was in Korea and not trying to pretend and hide himself behind some facade but Sehun was fast to promise that nothing would change from now on. He had let himself be open in front of Yixing once, there was no need to hide anymore. Yixing decided to trust him and let Sehun decide this for them both.

“And now I know we can have some actual getting to know each other, so I believe I should be honest, as you should be with me too.” Sehun smiled shily then and lean to peck Yixing’s lips and bumped playfully their noses together. “Everything will be okay, I promise.” 

And Yixing followed. He liked how open up Sehun was these days with him, although he wondered if he was too happy about it, but shook his thoughts away, he liked it. Especially because soon they were going to have their five dates together, the first two were under Sehun’s control and the last two are with what Yixing wanted. The middle one, they decided to make it random because one random date wouldn’t hurt.

Although Yixing had to think over his own decisions over what and how much he wanted to show Sehun for the couple of dates, Yixing didn't do it. For the time they had in Korea, Yixing decided to let himself be happy and maybe slightly careless, but being happy with Sehun, kissing him, hugging him and smiling at him, Yixing was happy. So he didn't mind anything for a while.

However, the moment Yixing and Yifan had walked into Yixing’s flat, everything stopped to be as pretty and lovely as Yixing though it was. He suddenly felt worried, he wondered how he should act around Sehun, how to make the latter be comfortable with him, how to make him feel as loved as Yixing wanted to be and how they were going to act with each other. Which was slightly ridiculous thoughts having in mind how easily it was for Yixing to be around Sehun. So Yifan had seen nothing else better than to punch Yixing on the head and order him to sit down.

“You’re out of control right now, do you think you’ll make Sehun happy like this?” Yifan roared and Yixing found himself staring. “Do you think he’ll expect a golden ring and you on your knees? The guy wants to get to know you and be in relationship with you, the real you. So don’t take this from him and be yourself. Just be clumsy as hell and he’ll fall for you.”

“Don’t tell me this had won you to be my friend?” Yixing asked with a teasing smile when he realized that he indeed started to overthink things even before he had the chance to think of considering his and Sehun’s emotions.

“You got the jackpot.” Yifan winked and motioned towards the kitchen with a teasing shrug. “You should buy strawberries and vanilla and champagne because you know, sex in the kitchen is hot.”

“Do you think we’ll even going to have sex through these dates?” Yixing rolled his eyes. “I plan to court him and then make him feel loved and later have sex with him.” Yixing had planned how their first time in the new relationship would be and he hoped that Sehun would let him dominate again, so that Yixing could show him with his actions how much he appreciated him in his life.

“I highly doubt you both about this thing, but yeah, maybe you’re right. Both of you being a poor maidens would do the foreplay act too.” Yifan shrugged again and turned to leave Yixing alone. “But if your ass hurts after the first date, don’t you even dare to call me to help you.”

“I will call you to speak about how my first kiss was!!” Yixing replied with high pitched voice, blinking wide eyes and shy look on his face, making Yifan laugh loudly and shake his head before greeting a last goodbye for today and walk away.

Yixing sighed and walked towards his bedroom. He wanted to think of possible plans about the dates he had to plan. He wished to make something cute and romantic. Like maybe cook something or walk out under the stars or have some romantic dinner with small candles and roses. But knowing Sehun these things might not work very well with him and the least Yixing wished to was having Sehun feeling uneasy about Yixing trying too hard to please him.

On the other hand, Yixing wanted to have a calm movie night with Sehun. Watching some movie, romantic or action one, Yixing didn't mind as long as he knew that he could see Sehun smiling and probably leaning on his shoulder and maybe share a small kiss and giggles and something which could be called theirs only. Sighing wishfully, Yixing giggled to himself. He was going to buy flowers and put them around the bedroom. He didn't have a plan to have sex with Sehun yet, but the romantic feeling would be good enough for their relationship to bloom a little bit more, Yixing decided. 

That night even though Yixing was alone in his bed and maybe slightly sad that he didn't have Sehun next to him and probably soon he won't see him, because Sehun explained that he had to visit his parents and brother and have a holiday with them, so he might visit Yixing once he started his job again, Yixing was actually happy. For the first time in a while he was feeling happy. He hadn't felt so excited and happy for so long and he had never craved for something as much as he did now. That bubbly feeling inside his chest was one of the indications Yixing needed to know that he was ready to fall madly in love with Sehun without no regrets.

○○○

However, probably with the love, his worries and nervousness grew with great amount surprising him the moment when Sehun called him, saying that he would arrive earlier than planned and his manager was still in Korea and Yixing could come and take him from the airport because Sehun had brought too many things with him. Yixing then stuttered, cleared his throat, shook his head to wake up and remind himself how old he was and with whom he was talking before saying that yes, he would take Sehun.

“Can I stay in your flat?” Sehun asked slightly worried, Yixing could tell from the way his voice wavered and Yixing had his heart almost leaving his chest. It was insane, he thought.

“Yes! Of course! As much as you want!” Yixing almost rolled his eyes and face palmed himself with great force once he noticed that he was speaking with high pitched voice, motioning with his free hand as if Sehun was in from of him and he had to prove himself.

“That's a relief!” Sehun sighed relieved and chuckled over the phone before he snored slightly and asked. “You're not nervous about our dates, are you?”

“No!” Yixing coughed. He disliked the way his voice cracked in the end and how weak he sounded in his ears. He had to be confident and ready to embrace Sehun any moment, yet here he was sulking, pouting and feeling as if his heart would leave his body any moment.

“Because I am.” Sehun said quietly with small chuckle, an anxious one and Yixing felt bad, maybe he had to be honest and say that not only he was nervous, he was close to losing his mind only from thinking about his dates with Sehun.

“I...Sehun...can we talk once you’re here?” Yixing knew that these words could bring fear in Sehun, but he couldn’t help to say it. If they kept the conversation over the phone, Yixing knew that his mind would betray him because of the mixture of feelings in his heart and probably would make a mistake he wouldn’t be able to take care of. Sehun seemed to be on the same page, because he sighed with relief and agreed.

“I should be on the airport by five, you can be there earlier in case something happens and I arrive earlier? If not, call me, no, text me, so that I’ll figure something out or wait for you? Okay?”

“Yeah, of course, I’ll be on time, I believe.” Yixing ended the call and turned around to punch his pillow, he had to take care of himself. But first he had to prepare his flat for Sehun.

And by preparing, Yixing wanted to bring fresh flowers, bought couple of things from the grocery store to prepare dinner and couple of types wine for different meals. He bought a cake, chocolate one, because he knew that Sehun would appreciate the sweetness. Yixing had to clean his bedroom, bought a bottle of lube and condoms, because Yifan’s words repeated over and over in his head. He didn’t want to rush things, but if Sehun wished something more intimate, Yixing wouldn’t say no. Not when he knew that he needed Sehun in his embrace more than ever.

Four hours before Sehun’s arrival, Yixing had everything done and prepared. He had to only put the dishes to cook soon and then reheat them once Sehun’s there. He had prepared couple of sandwiches, so that he could give them to Sehun and probably win Sehun’s heart by the cute forms he had done, like small bears, puppies, and all the cute random things he had found from some Japanese sites for bentos and other things for eating. Yixing was embarrassed by his own actions, however, if he hadn’t done all this, he knew that he would freak out and over-think too many things, he shouldn’t.

Yixing was on time, he even heard when Sehun’s plane arrived, he sighed with relief and waited. Wondering, if his car would be enough for all the things Sehun brought, but just recently Yixing changed cars and got a smaller one than the one he had before and if Seun bought as much as Yixing could imagine, maybe it would be hard to put everything together.

Sehun came with only one big suitcase and a hand scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. Yixing waved at him, slightly worried with the way Sehun was coming his way, as if he had done something which would worry or make Yixing angry and the latter didn’t like how uncertain Sehun seemed.

“Hey.” Sehun greeted him and leaned to peck Yixing’s cheek when he gave him a short hug and moved away, not letting Yixing to return the affection with one of his own.

“Hey, is that everything you brought?” Yixing motioned at the baggage and Sehun shook his head. 

“They lost the other part and I had to give an address for them to send it.” Sehun cleared his throat, looking at Yixing with puppy eyes and chuckled. “They didn’t let me give them a hotel, because they had some problems and for now they need permanent ones and I gave yours, with your name and number, since they weren’t sure when they’re going to arrive and if I’m not close to you, you’ll have to deal with it...I’m so sorry for this!”

Yixing noticed how Sehun had started to speak faster and trying to look as small as he could and this brought some kind of bubbly laughter in Yixing. He chuckled and leaned to embrace Sehun, not minding that some people’s eyes were on them and that soon they were going to be recognized and probably they had to deal with article, but for now Sehun looked so cute and lovely that Yixing couldn’t resist.

“It’s okay, you’re staying with me anyways.” Yixing replied, kissing Sehun’s nose and took his suitcase, not waiting for an answer. He still could hear Sehun mumbling something under his breath, something like how Yixing was a mad man.

Even in the car, or before that, Yixing could tell that Sehun was tired. Maybe he didn’t have enough sleep, or the flight was tiring for him, or it was simply the tiredness from all the time spending outside taking over Sehun, but Yixing wondered how he should make his boyfriend happy.

So Yixing was speaking a lot, when he noticed that Sehun was interested in what he wanted to stay but barely keeping his eyes open, Yixing stopped asking and instead spoke on his own. What he had prepared for Sehun, how he had done the bed, so Sehun could sleep there and Yixing could take the couch so that Sehun could have the needed rest. But that thought was refused by Sehun who grumbled.

“Don’t you even dare, we didn’t even have our make up sex yet, and you already want to sleep away from me.”

Maybe it was meant for a joke but Yixing blushed and cleared his throat, Sehun had no idea how many times Yixing thought of kissing Sehun’s thighs only the time they’ve been together now, but Yixing never voiced his desires. Instead, he pushed Sehun towards the bathroom the moment they walked into his flat.

“Come on, take a long bath, I’ll prepare the food and later we can have some fun.” Yixing winked and turned to walk back towards the kitchen. He needed to make sure everything was fine and ready by the time Sehun would be out.

Sehun had walked out of the bathroom refreshed, with lovely red around his cheeks and messy hair, making Yixing feel so happy to see the man in front of him so relaxed. He had put some t-shirt and boxers but nothing else and leaned to kiss Yixing’s cheek before sitting on his seat opposite of Yixing and enjoying the meals. 

“I thought you’re good chef but I never thought you can be this good.” Sehun commented and moaned when he took one of the steaks in front of him. “And everything is so good, I think I fell deeper in love with you.” 

“I’m happy to hear that.” Yixing didn’t comment the small confession because he was sure that Sehun spoke it for the sake of the moment and not so much that he meant it.

“What are you going to do later?” Sehun asked with full mouth and Yixing almost leaned to kiss the squirrel cheeks Sehun had but instead he chuckled and took a gulp of his white wine.

“Hmm, I thought you would like to sleep. Maybe we can think of what to do tomorrow?” Yixing smiled gently and looked down at his plate. He didn’t notice the frown on Sehun’s forehead or the way he stopped eating and leaned on the table, staring at Yixing, whose attention was still over his food.

“I don’t want to sleep, Yixing.” Sehun spoke, this time his voice didn’t have the playful tone he used moments ago, neither did he tried to look regretful when Yixing’s eyes were on him, slightly shocked from the change in Sehun.

“Oh, is that so?” Yixing cleared his throat because his voice sounded so small and weak. “What do you want to do then?” he asked and smile once again.

“You know, we never had the make up sex everyone loves to mention after we argue. We never spoke about where this new relationship we have would lead us. Neither have we been happy about our own nervousness around each other.” Sehun cleared his throat. “In other words, let’s have sex.”

“Is that all you want?” Yixing frowned, so once again it was going to start with sex.  
“No, I want a lot more, but I have been close to a month close or away from you. One month without touching you, Yixing, I don’t know how you handle it, but I miss your body, I need you and I don’t know how you feel about this, but I just want to kiss you so badly.” Sehun sighed and pushed his chair back. “I don’t know how you feel, but I start to get fed up from holding myself because I need to show you how much I love you now with my body and then I will show you through the dates.”

With this Sehun walked away, towards the bedroom, touching Yixing’s shoulder. The latter didn’t miss how Sehun’s hand was slightly trembling, or how nervous and Sehun’s back looked while walking towards the bedroom. Yixing didn’t miss how relieved his heart felt when he heard this and he didn’t miss how happy he felt when he realized that Sehun was feeling the same way as he did.

And Yixing didn’t think twice before gulping his glass of wine and walking towards the bedroom. He was going to show Sehun how much he loved him too.

○○○

Making love to Sehun was gentle, romantic, slow and beautiful.

Sehun had let Yixing take the control the moment the latter walked through the bedroom’s door. Yixing removed his own clothes, before moving over Sehun who had taken off his and leaned to kiss Sehun’s slightly pinkish cheeks. 

Yixing decided that he wanted to kiss everything and anything all over Sehun’s body. Every part of his body, every mole, every bone, every part of the sweet and lovely skin Sehun had. And Yixing enjoyed every tremble coming from the act, every moan, gasp for air, arching back, hands pushing or pulling Yixing’s hair. Sehun had let him love him as he wanted and Yixing wanted to do it slow. He wanted to make Sehun feel as if he was one moment away from bursting because of the emotions connected them now.

Yixing had been mumbling _Sehun_ all over again while kissing him, he called him even when he spread gently his legs and leaned to kiss and bite every piece of the thigh in his palms. He loved how hard and leaking Sehun was for him, he loved how Sehun responded when Yixing whispered his name against the tip of Sehun’s erection or how he arched when Yixing took him fully in his mouth.

Yixing loved how Sehun spread his legs wider demanding for more when Yixing started to tease his entrance, two lubed fingers playing with the rim but not pushing deeper, only there, pulling, opening but not filling and Sehun was close to lose his patience. Yixing didn’t lel him do so. 

“I love you so much, Sehun.” Sehun moaned at this because when Yixing said it, he had finally had fingers inside Sehun, touching that small spot inside him, making Sehun feel weak and ready to beg. “I love you so much that it hurts and I feel like a teenager.” Sehun chuckled at this but choked out a loud moan when Yixing sucked the base of Sehun’s erection. 

“Don’t tease…” Sehun whined. “When you’re in my place, you’re going to see hell if you keep this pace.” Sehun groaned when Yixing was teasing, not pushing himself inside Sehun, but instead kept the tip right at the entrance. 

Yixing was feeling excited, he was feeling alive and happy and he wanted to play around. He could notice that there was no bite in Sehun’s words, instead he could see his lover’s eyes shining with excitement, letting Yixing do whatever he wanted and how he wanted it.

“How much you love me?” Yixing asked then, only the tip inside Sehun, making the younger to groan from frustration and need to be filled, but as much as Yixing teased, this much he was serious.

“Would you be satisfied if I tell you that when you said another man’s name while you were inside me, the moment I walked out I cried?” Sehun chuckled when he noticed how Yixing stilled and his eyes fell on Sehun heavily, shocked and slightly satisfied. “I am not kidding if this is what you think about.”

“I don’t doubt you, but I have never thought that…”

“I’ll be as affected, I didn’t think too but I couldn’t hold it.” Sehun hissed when he moved his hips trying to make Yixing move or get deeper inside him, he couldn’t tell.

“God, Sehun, I fucking love you.” Yixing said with a small wince and whine and shiver, then he finally moved inside Sehun, loving the heat which embraced him and the way Sehun arched into Yixing as if he had felt better than this, like now, under Yixing, letting out small moans and begs for more.

“That’s…” Sehun groaned. “The first time you curse.” Sehun finished with a chuckle and palmed Yixing’s face, pulling him down to kiss him.

Even their kissing were slow, as if they were taking their time to taste each other for the first time and indeed it felt different than before. If before they were fast and hard kisses, full of pushing and pulling, demanding for more or something to prove them that they belonged to each other, not the kisses were sweet, knowing, loving and warm.

As if both of them had found a place which was making them happy and this place was between each other or next to one another. They were happy. Yixing loved what they had now and he loved how with every thrust, with every touch, with every bite coming from Sehun and every choked chuckle, Sehun looked more content and relaxed and Yixing felt as if he had been reborn.

“I’m never letting you go anymore.” Yixing spoke breathlessly over Sehun’s lips when he was stroking the younger so that both of them could reach their limits at the same time. He loved how Sehun was clenching him with desperation, he loved how his nails were deep into Yixing’s back.

“I wouldn’t ask for more.” Sehun panted, embracing Yixing who had fallen over him the moment he felt so happy and in the same so tired that his muscles couldn’t hold him. 

“So, are we doing the dates?” Yixing asked, moving his head up to leave small playful kisses over Sehun’s jaw and down his neck to his collarbones.

“And you even dare to ask.” Sehun laughed and moaned when Yixing finally pulled out of him. “Let’s shower together, after that I’m going to say what I plan about the first date.”

“You lead.” Yixing said with a smile and took Sehun’s hand in his while both walked towards the bedroom.

He had never been as in love as he was now and he regretted that he hadn’t noticed sooner and he was glad that he let go a part of himself to earn Sehun to himself.


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and here it is the last chapter \o/ woah i just want to say thank you to anyone who read it, who left kudos and simply checked the link for the story, it means a lot for me!! i had fun writing this, so i hope you had fun reading it! and here now you can enjoy some of the awkward dates these two idiots came up with \o/ thank you again!

One thing was for sure, Yixing was never going to let Sehun decide their dates for them again, even if it meant to punch Sehun in the face.

Yixing didn’t hate or mind Vivi, Sehun’s dog. Not at all, in fact he was quite fond of the puppy, or in his opinion already grown up dog, but Sehun always was ready to hold couple of hours sulking and pouting, explaining how Vivi was still a small baby pup. Yixing decided that he couldn’t argue so he let it be. Especially because he had seen what a cute small ball of fluff Vivi had been when he unintentionally seen the great amount of photos in Sehun’s gallery. Sehun was too in love with his puppy, Yixing decided then and he didn’t mind it, not at all, until Vivi didn’t have to live with them for a month.

“Sorry, my parents want to go on holiday for a month, I don’t have to whom to give Vivi.” Sehun scratched the back of his head, barely holding Vivi in one hand, like a baby. “Chanyeol is here with Yifan, Jongin is...he already has too many dogs and Soojung is barely surviving.”

“So you want us to live with Vivi, having in mind that we both will be busy from next week?” _And this is the reason why we’re rushing our dates, this week?_ he wanted to add but stayed quiet when he noticed the puppy eyes Sehun was giving him.

“Yes! I promise you will not regret taking Vivi, he’s the best and loveliest puppy!” Sehun spoke excitedly and walked through the flat, which both of them almost were sharing, pecking Yixing’s lips and humming to a song while he looked for a place where he could make Vivi be comfortable for the time being.

And indeed Yixing didn’t mind at all. Not that he had any say in this anyways.

The first date happened the next day. Everything was perfect, Sehun woke Yixing with kissing, a little bit teasing and spreading Yixing’s legs with a promise of something more later tonight. Yixing didn’t mind when he was woken up by wet lips on his neck, biting and roaming hands over his belly and bellow to the place he needed a release, what he minded however, was the loud whine coming outside of their bedroom.

“Oh, Vivi must be hungry.” Sehun moved up, kissing Yixing again as apology and walked away to plant the same lips over Vivi’s wet mouth. And Yixing was almost sure that the dog glared at him.

Of course, Yixing was late because the cold shower didn’t help, not when his thoughts were for Sehun’s mouth around him or the fact how perfect it would be if Sehun spread him open and then make love to him, slowly and thoroughly. So he had to use almost all of the hot water, which meant that they would be late for the date, since probably Sehun had to wait for the water to warm.

This wasn’t the case, in fact, when Yixing walked out of the bath, Sehun was already dressed, groomed his lovely puppy and his eyes were shining with excitement. 

“We’re going on a date! I had found this lovely park where people visit it with their dogs and I’m sure Vivi would love it! We can have our romantic time too, I have prepared the lunch!”

“Yeah, I will put some clothes on.”

Yixing couldn’t say no, he didn’t mind it too much, but he knew that if they were with Vivi, this meant either one or the two of them had to run after the dog and as much Yixing loved Vivi and his fluffiness, he wasn’t so happy about the idea. 

But they had made a deal, the first two dates were what Sehun wanted, the others were what Yixing wanted, or this was what Yixing thought of.

Being in park was good, entertaining even, and maybe refreshing. Yixing hadn’t been out like this for a while, especially because his attention was over Sehun when both of them were considerably free, composing songs and being in some shows where his opinion was needed. So indeed it was new experience for Yixing, but Sehun seemed pretty used to it, in fact he didn’t take much time to befriend with couples or just lonely owners of dogs. Yixing didn’t even know the breeds the dogs were. Actually Yixing didn’t have the chance to even check them over his phone, he had to run and stop Vivi from stealing the ice cream a small girl was eating.

In fact, Yixing’s whole day was running after Vivi, asking Sehun what and when he had to give Vivi and hunting for toys he could give Vivi. What Yixing was grateful for Sehun was the fact that his boyfriend was around him and when someone approached Yixing to ask things about Vivi and dogs in general, Sehun was the first one to step in and start to explain with a wide smile on his face and lovely gestures. Yixing was good with this, indeed he was.

Even though he was drenched in sweat, panting and casually glaring Vivi, he was happy he was with Sehun. And as much he wasn’t familiar with dogs, Vivi seemed to finally be fond of him. Probably because he gave the pup couple of more sweets than he should but he needed rest, Sehun had his back turned to him, explaining to a couple how he was showering Vivi.

“You’ll be the death of me.” Yixing panted once he caught Vivi couple of steps away before jumping in the small fountain where kids were playing and currently he was cuddling Vivi while the dog was panting over him, giving him lovely saliva all over his face because he ended licking Yixing. Indeed, Yixing was happy person. And he wished to say this to Sehun, panting again, but in bed, not a chance however.

Sehun had leaned down to bump his forehead with Yixing’s, a small gesture of affection, having in mind that people could notice them if they were too intimate and pulled Vivi closer to him, helping Yixing up.

“We can go back if you want, I have to bath Vivi soon anyways and we can go out later? The two of us?” Sehun winked at Yixing with the suggestion and it was finally something Yixing would favor a lot.

The thing was nothing happened except the bathed Vivi. Not only Yixing was tired from all the running he did through the day that he barely kept his eyes open, but he found Sehun sleeping on the couch, soundly and cuddling Vivi. It was the cutest sight ever and Yixing was more than glad to see it, but he couldn’t do anything but walk to the bedroom and sleep.

Sehun had walked back into the room some time later, kissing Yixing’s neck and whispering small apologize. Yixing had felt the affection and kissed back for reassurance but too tired to do anything else. He hoped that the next dates would be better, but he was wrong.

The next day Chanyeol had called, being excited to see Vivi and whining that Yifan cared for his toys more than anything and Sehun was first to say that Chanyeol could visit them. Yifan tagged along too and Yixing didn’t mind, it was too hot outside anyways, but he did mind the fact that Vivi seemed to want to play with him more than he wished.

Biting and licking his toes, leaning on him with full weight, shaking his butt while moving his tail and barking playfully at Yixing, demanding something taste to get. Yixing didn’t mind, not at all, until he didn’t get call from his manager, the man rarely called because he knew Yixing could handle things on his own, but he did now and Yixing knew something was up.

“The boss wants to speak with you, you might be back into the idol game.” The man grumped on the other side of the phone and Yixing groaned.

“But I’m out of it for years.” Yixing whined and excused himself to the kitchen to speak over the phone having Vivi following him and barking.

“Yeah, but you haven’t retired from being an actor, have you?” Yixing groaned, maybe he had to do conference and explain his need to keep doing only music and not being on the spot. “They want you in movie, famous singer and dancer who is in fact ready to be the next director of the best hospital in the world and you fell for a nurse.”

“Of course.” Yixing sighed and groaned when Vivi pushed his leg, making him chuckle and gave the pup a biscuit, Sehun was going to kill him.

“Yeah, so tomorrow you have to come to the company although we made a deal and have to accept the proposal of acting.” The manager chuckled when Yixing whined at Vivi to be quiet.

“Okay, I’ll be there.”

And so their next date was in Yixing’s working place, because Sehun decided to come, since Vivi had whined for Yixing to take him with him. The dog was quite demanding and Yixing was too nice to say no. Sehun seemed to be in the right place, looking like the model he is once he walked through the doors of the company, greeting the ones who knew them and making sure Vivi wouldn’t do something.

Since the negotiations were longer than Yixing thought, because the director had demands and Yixing’s boss had another, he was in the middle of sighing when his phone vibrated and saw that Sehun had been surrounded by girls, cooing over Vivi and him. Sehun looked as if he was going to burn something.

Shaking his head, Yixing kept their date alive while texting him and demanding for Sehun to be a good wife and cook him something. Vivi was the happiest later when Sehun almost burned the kitchen but let the meat to be half burned. Of course, Vivi was first to eat it and leaving nothing for them.

That was how their second date was done. The third was better, they stayed at home, only going out to bring Vivi on a walk and because Sehun wanted ice cream, Yixing was half asleep most of the time because he had been up until early morning to change some of the latest composition he did, apparently the tones were too high for the singer.

And the walk became something close to the date in the park, this time people recognizing them both and asking for how long they were friends. It was tiring but kind of cute how Sehun was blushing when he was complimented about his last part in action movie he did in Korea some time ago. Well, it wasn’t so bad, but never again Yixing was letting Sehun to do their dates.

Unfortunately, the ones Yixing planned weren’t so much better. Vivi was there too.

First date planned by Yixing: romantic dinner.

He had figured out that Sehun was romantic lover, he liked the small things and he loved the tasty food, so Yixing decided to do this. While Sehun was away with Vivi, Yixing did everything. Put the candles on safe places so that Vivi wouldn’t hurt himself. He had cooked italian food because he thought it would suit the dinner, took wine, made himself look good and bought flowers. Some of them he had put in the bedroom, the others were in the living room where the dinner would be.

Everything was perfect. He had planned the dinner, he would follow it and probably let Sehun decide on some things too. But today was going to be good date. Sehun walked into the flat, smiling and being happy while bringing some sweets he had seen on his way back. Smiling wider when he noticed what Yixing had done for him and the dinner had a great potential.

But not really. Vivi had his dinner and walked to his place in front of the couch to sleep so Yixing and Sehun had time alone, finally taking their time. They sipped from the wine, talking and teasing each other, sharing short kisses and exchanging heated glances until Sehun didn’t try the sweet Yixing did and broke his tooth. Apparently while cleaning the nuts, he had missed some big part of the shell and Sehun’s just ate into it with force.

“I’m so sorry!” Yixing shouted and panicked and this lead to breaking glasses and almost breaking his leg while standing up and walk to Sehun who was half crying and half laughing because this was ridiculous.

They had drove to a dentist, explaining the case and Sehun was taken care of while Yixing was feeling guilty and worried. Couple of hours later Sehun was like new, apparently it wasn’t so bad, just small part missing but everything was okay and Sehun wouldn’t have any problem. Yixing kept on apologizing and Sehun was laughing.

“It’s okay, no big deal, it wasn’t a front tooth, so no one will notice the damage my lover did from love.” Sehun teased and patted Yixing.

The second date had to be better, Yixing prayed for it, hoped and barely slept. It was easy, they were going to watch a movie, had a dinner later and maybe walk around the city before going home. That was the plan, but it didn’t happen as Yixing imagined it.

He was awkward and clumsy man, even though he hadn’t shown it fully to Sehun yet, he was sure sooner or later he will. He didn’t think that he’ll show it as throwing his soda all over Sehun because he tripped.

He didn’t know how it happened, Sehun had sat down, getting comfortable when Yixing had to pass a young girl sitting couple of seats away from them and he just had to walk to his place and sit down. Nothing hard to do but it didn’t end up pretty. Apparently, when he passed through the girl and moved towards Sehun, Yixing didn’t notice that someone had left something on the ground, enough to make Yixing step on it, feel it and then lose his balance, stepping badly and find himself on his knees, drink all over Sehun and popcorns too.

Sehun was shocked for a moment before he laughed so loudly that most of the eyes were on them and Yixing was blushing still unable to stand up. Sehun helped him and then called the staff to explain what had happened so that they could clean, Sehun helping them with Yixing and changed places.

“We should go home.” Yixing whispered. Sehun was sticky and wet, his hair was a mess bc the drink went even there and his clothes looked awful.

“It’s okay, I want to watch the movie. Besides they gave me towel.” Sehun winked at Yixing and looked ahead at the movie which was interesting but Yixing couldn’t exactly enjoy it.

They took a cab to go back home and Sehun was teasing Yixing the whole way back. It was good, Yixing laughed but he still felt bad. Once they were home, he took Sehun’s clothes and put them in the washing machine to clean them. Sehun was out some time later, checking on Vivi who was sleeping now in their bedroom and walked towards the couch, sighing with pleasure when he gulped down the cold beer Yixing gave him and sat next to him.

“You know, I waited the moment when you’ll show how clumsy you are.” Sehun said and kissed Yixing’s head, pulling him closer.

“How did you even know I’m clumsy?” Yixing hissed but chuckled when Sehun tried to tickle him.

“Yifan was nice enough to tell me this, it’s cute. Although I say our dates were disaster.”

“They were.” Yixing agreed and sighed when he loved how warm Sehun was next to him even when the weather was already hot.

“So want to make deal?” Yixing hummed as reply. “Want to never do these things again? We can survive without dates anyways.”

“The best deal ever.”

After the small conversation, Yixing had noticed how tired he was and leaned even further towards Sehun so that he could relax even more and maybe take a small nap. Unfortunately, Sehun’s phone rang and both jumped. Since Yixing was closer he took the phone and picked up the phone, Sehun told him to put it speaker since it was Chanyeol.

“Hey, man.” Chanyeol spoke loudly and chuckled.

“Hey…” Sehun sighed and Yixing giggled.

“Oh, am I on speaker?” Chanyeol was catching fast. “Anyways, do you want to go on a date with me and Yifan? We want to have fun together.” Yixing could hear Yifan disagreeing from the back.

“Um we decided that we won’t do dates anymore.” Sehun explained and kissed Yixing’s head.

“Oh, why? Did Yixing break another tooth of yours while you were blowing him off?” Chanyeol teased and Sehun choked.

“He did not! I didn’t even blow him! Fuck, Chanyeol…”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t show him how deep you can take him?!” Chanyeol sounded scandalized. “Or that you can tightened your throat around the tip and make even the strongest man blow up inside you?”

“Chanyeol!” The was a curse and Yifan spoke next.

“Sorry, don’t listen to him, we don’t need a double date. Anyways, Sehun, I didn’t know you had such kind of talent. You know, when you’re free and if I’m free, we can…”

“Fuck you, Yifan, he’s mine.” Yixing growled and cut the call, moving away from Sehun to glare at him. “You can do this? Did you do it to Chanyeol?”

“Ah, no, I could only deep throat him once and almost went to the hospital because something happened. And I never do it since then.” Sehun explained and chuckled awkwardly. “But if you want, I can try…”

“Tomorrow, I need you to do this tomorrow.” Yixing glared again and chuckled. “I can’t believe we’re speaking about this.”

“Well, if we end in some kind of mixed relationship with Chanyeol and Yifan, you should know I’m quitting life.” Sehun sighed tiredly, making Yixing laugh some more. 

“I’ll join you.” Yixing stood up and stretched. “Let’s go cuddle Vivi.”

Sehun giggled and stood up too. Pulling Yixing closer to him and started kissing him. Yixing would never want to let go of this. Especially not when they were in bed, Vivi next to him and Sehun on his other side, circled his arms around his waist and nose into his neck.

“I love you.” Sehun mumbled and bit Yixing’s neck.

“I love myself too.” Yixing laughed when Sehun winced and groaned. “Kidding, I love you too.


End file.
